Friday, December 22, 2006

Season's Greetings!!!

Well it's that time of year again; the holiday hawk is once again ready to swoop down and snatch the limp bodies of the cold, lonely and video game obsessed. He's not getting my ass this year though! HA! You know why? 'Cause I got myself a woman... and a brand new copy of Splinter Cell: Double Agent. If he does come looking for me, his ass ain't finding shit because I learned how to blend seamlessly into the shadows from playing that game... wait, do birds have night vision though? Damn...


As far as my Christmas list goes, its as blank as my Chemistry answer booklet. I don't want anything particularly, though I know people are still going to buy stuff for me. Don't get me wrong though, I'm grateful for all gifts, but because I don't want any gifts, I'm less compelled to buy gifts for other people; but the look they give you after they hand me my present is so damn uncomfortable: They give you the gift and stand there with their mouth slightly open in the shape of the last syllable they uttered, and their eyes are all googley and dinner-plate-ish waiting for you to give them something in return. It makes me feel bad to say: "What?... Or! Shit boy, I en have nothing for you nah, but do worry we go link a scene in a timin' "

Note: Use of my local dialect is a cheap ploy to show that they have my word as a Trinidadian that their gesture of consideration will not go unnoticed.

Yeah, so the fact that I posses nothing tangible to exchange with them is a little bit "weird" for me.

All this talk about me not wanting anything though, I know that when Christmas morning comes I'm gonna want to see something in that couch (poor people don't know nothing about no Christmas tree).
You know what else is gonna be awkward? When my friends call me and ask what did I get for Christmas and I'll say "nothing", then I'm gonna have to state (every single time) that I didn't
want anything for Christmas to not make it sound like I'm seeing hard times with money because then they'll all put up and buy something for me and I'll feel like a Charity case.

Not many people know this about me but I'd rather tighten my belt than ask for help, and when people do me favors, it kinda bothers me... though sometimes I do get some kick-ass favors (aside from the sexual ones lol.)

Well... apart from my gift situation and the escape from the holiday hawk, things are pretty much mellow.

The Internet is settling down drastically as the web's most talented technologically savvy authors are curing their carpal tunnel syndrome to get ready for 2007's onslaught of gaming goodness. Next year is going to be like 2004 for games: A lot of big releases and high expectations, innovative game play, graphical beauty contests and a lot of fan boy forum speculation flares are all on the platter for the big '07.

Too bad all that's so far away though, because right now I'm just dying for some speculation juices to start flowing through the veins of Afterdawn, Revision3 and G4's forums.

In an attempt to change my luck with the infrequent updates of gaming news, I sat at my computer tonight, not in the usual tighty whities, but in a full-length track pants... my tactic didn't work that well as my inbox was littered with information only about Microsoft's XNA, Robotics Studio 1.0 and Office 2007 system. I didn't even get anything about Windows Vista for cryin' out loud. it's that bad.

Gamespy, IGN, G4, Gamespot and just about everybody else had their pick for game of the year so in actuality, there is no real game of the year... So I'm just as confused as to what to download as the other guy.

Wait one fuckin minute! How the hell did the entry reach to this topic? Well I know one Kevin Sheppard who's not backspacing all off that text, so read up to this point and relate to my self-inflicted fury and confusion.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Friday, December 15, 2006


Coming to think of it, the interjection that is the title of this entry, is a little bit unnecessary for this one since my pleasant experiences only encompass about, say, 2-3 lines of crap... We'll start with the good crap first then dig our way farther down into the shit hole.

The weekend is finally upon me! Today marks the (technical) end of my examination period. Yes, while all you little rats were suckling on the tit of secondary school education and enjoying the benefits of an early vacation, I was losing sleep, slaving over a hot text book. The numbers, facts and formulas singed my face during the wee hours of the morning while you were all snuggled under your covers, the same covers that shielded you from the same devious Christmas breeze that numbed the nerves on my back as I sat half naked by an open window. I hate you all!


What a day to end a week though- 4 hrs and 50 mins. with your girlfriend during an exam is too much to ask for, but I got it anyway :P

Every time I see her, it's like I'm falling in love all over again; But every time I see her again though, I get the rise of that old familiar sinking feeling - that all the past incidental memories trail behind her, like the train of a wedding gown made by the embodiment sadness itself. That's between me and her though...

I spent some time today just chilling out, relaxing, saying dumb crap (as they say) and basically basking in the ambiance of her company. Did I ever tell you that she's a really good listener?

The lime with her today was good, no complaints really.

That's it for the good part of the week.

The rest of days were less than satisfactory and my exam performance followed suit. My Mathematics and Computer exams were done really well, Physics was myeeeaaaaahh (when you say that last word, do the thing with your hand where you put it out flat and tilt it from side to side) and I shat all over Chemistry. Whoever invented the subject would be turning over in their grave if they saw the kind of things I wrote.

The answer sheet was basically returned as markless as it was issued. The multiple choice was a series of random shadings - I think I tried to make a smiley face or something. The structured section was littered with broken explanations and common sense workings, for example C11O3 isn't really a chemical is it? No? Well that was one of my answers. I suppose it could be a new type of drug...

Physics was sort of OK since I had basic understanding of all the principles to be applied, but the questions were a lot harder than I expected. Fuck it yes, a grade B is still good.

So that's how my exams went...

My week, as I said, followed suit: Restless and miserable. Too many situations to deal with, expectations too high to meet, repressed memories surfaced but were repressed once more.

My body is worn, my mind is a clogged exhaust pipe and my emotional processors are overworked.

This next week is where I take a little time, a little time to think things over and get all these feelings out. I'm too young to go through this kind of stress. I need this coming week more than anybody can imagine.

A few days with God and myself should make this week (in particular) a bitter/sweet memory.

Mourn me not, for I shall return... eventually

Thursday, December 07, 2006


Sorry to disappoint, but the title has nothing to do with my performance in the bedroom, and by performance I mean the little demonstration of my hardcore gaming skills that I entertain my guests with when they come to visit ;)

The title more pertains to my wanton disregard and failure to prioritise tasks and objectives. Take today for example - between getting my ass rinsed in a fight and trying to solicit sex from random interned hotties, I find myself making time to listen to Vybz Kartel talk about AK's, subs, rubber gloves, black talons and vaginas.

I don't know about you, but these don't sound like the precautionary measures I should be taking against having to repeat my first semester. Lemme break down that point for you:

In my school, If you fail one out of your seven courses in any semester, you do over the whole year. its that simple. Currently, my Chemistry mark rivals that of yesterday's Lottery draw in a stiff, neck and neck competition to see which one can pull a lower number (place all bets on my Chem mark btw.)

Things don't look too promising, and did I mention that my exams start next week? Yeah, I'm just one of those guys.

Well would you look at that? This is the first substantial entry I made in a long time. Wow! I'm proud of myself.

I know who's to blame though - this girl I'm seeing. You see, after I tell her how sucky my day, week, month or life is going, I feel as though I don't need to tell anybody else because... I've already told everybody I need to tell so I don't come here to write about it.

I guess the reason I started this blog was to relate my crappy situations to somebody who'll always be listening and not complain about how much I talk, or cut me off because they have more urgent matters to attend to. I started it because I thought that the qualities of a blank text entry widget could not be found in any person. I now know that I was wrong. I'm glad I am.

Its unbelievable how she does it. Though her responses to some of my most unfortunate experiences were not what I would call "humane" or "kind", the cruelty hits me hard at first, then fades away; dissipates into a mist that I sail through as it turns into nothing but a dismembered apparition behind me... but wait a minute, who am I trying to bullshit? Quite frankly I think I've developed the Herbivore Syndrome since I started relating her stories i.e. When she laughs at my misfortunes, I grind my teeth so much that, by now, they're probably all the same length and as dull as a Holy Name chick, thus rendering me almost incapable of eating meat. (Herbivore Syndrome)

You know how it feels to have somebody laugh at your near-paralyzed ass after you told them you injured your back at the gym? I tell you, it's no orgasm!

But no matter, this girl's amazing. She has the ear that always listens, the eyes that see through my outer shell of coarse masculinity, the voice that lulls my inner beast of insanity to sleep and the rhythm that the wild beating of my heart was looking for. She kind of makes this blog seem redundant and unnecessary. I'll tell you more about her later though...

Now what was I going to write about now.... shit!!!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Like, What The F***?

Like the saying goes - speak of the devil and he shall manifest himself in all the wrong ways and at all of the wrong times. Not that I ever really mention him...except when I'm cursing and saying things like "bloody hell" and "what the hell?" but that doesn't really count because I'm mentioning the residence of the devil and not him (directly); but that's not the point. Weather or not you mention the rat bastard, he manifests himself, like i said before, in all the wrong ways at all the wrong times. Kind of like a mix between superstition an Murphy's Law. Well I'd have you know that this saying is no superstitious banter and experiencing it first-hand is no basket of roses. I am living proof that the son of a bitch is really out there to mess you up... permanently! Take a look at my weekend:


As if feeling like a dog dying of AIDS and mange wasn't bad enough, my Mathematics lecturer had to come in on a double period (2 hours long) and give us an exam.
The good: it was open-book
The bad: the exam was longer than all the Harry Potter books combined with my cousin's criminal record stapled to the end just for good measure.
On each page, numbers, symbols and operands gurned at me. Their grins and taunts strumming on my nerves as I tried my best to navigate my way through the maze of torment and inevitable failure that they have set forth for me to endure.
1 hour and 25 minutes later, my final full-stop lifted my corpse out of the labyrinth and transported me to the end. To the bright light that I have yearned for during the hours passed. I walk down the desert of misery that is the school hall - bruised, battered and waiting for the buzzards to arrive.
I literally collapse on a bench and reach for my lifeline. I used it to call my friend who lives nearby to see if I would be lucky enough to seek refuge and shelter; flee from those cursed halls and avoid the angry sharks that wait at the transportation center. She was home, it was OK for me to stop by. I was in luck.
The journey to her house seemed further than usual but the music in my ear through my iPod shaved a few steps off the journey.
When I had arrived, the house was alive with activity. An old friend came to visit before I reached, so at least I wasn't the disrupting factor of the evening.
I stayed there, rested, recuperated and waited for the angel of life-giving (mom) to arrive and carry me home.


Not enough sleep in my system, not enough time to relax; either way, I had to get up and prepare for a meeting that was scheduled about the website I'm working on for St. Francois Girls' College.
I donned my robes after doing the whole "prepare to go out ritual".
Upon turning the door knob, the phone rang - mom was calling me to do her a small advertisement for a garage sale that she would be hosting.
Being the person I am, I told mom that I was late for a meeting with the principal of St. Francois Girls' College.
Now in this paragraph, there are some things that I'd like to say about this woman with whom I have to meet, but for the sake of peace and the existence of my blog I will digress.
My mom understood the situation and bribed me with a direct drop to my destination after her little flyer task was done. I couldn't refuse. We all know how I love public transportation in this country.
I sat there, hammering away at the keyboard, longing to insert that final piece of clip art - my invisible finish line.
Finally, mom arrived home and the flyers were reviewed, edited and published faster than a rabbit gets fucked.
Next stop - meeting... but wait, what's this? A phone call?...
Answering that phone was an action, irreversible and as regrettable as not "pulling out" during a sexual encounter. The words that slithered their way through that speaker found their way to the core of my nervous system, merged with the 32 solder point monstrosity that is my brain and delivered more amps of vicious charge than is allowed - the meeting was canceled.
Maybe if I didn't have notes and a small presentation prepared, the meeting's cancellation would have been a gift wrapped blessing, but both my time and adrenaline were wasted - the two things I need more than anyone can imagine (if I am to make it through this weekend).
My body shut down temporarily, but my reservoir of Jesus' grace (my back-up generators) kicked in and I was re-animated, but with that small "eye-twitch" defect.
No matter how angry I got though, I couldn't let it out. I played it cool. A duck on a pond - on the surface things are cool and under control, but beneath is a hidden system of chaotic locomotion.

Friday Afternoon

Despite the cancellation of the meeting, I was still invited to go down to the school to tweak the site's interface and give it that hard to achieve "Francois Feeling". At least the day didn't completely go to waste.
Ah, the power of the vagina - being around all those girls for so long did the impossible; and the strange thing is that they didn't even try! I was defused and possible to be reasoned with... but only for a little while
When the little gathering was over, my girlfriend and I decided to end the day with a little movie viewing.

OK Sorry to disappoint, but I can't quite remember how this day ended. This was a draft that I worked on a while ago and decided to publish today. What I can remember is a chinese man in a brown jersey pissing me off with his bad walking habbits, me getting trouble to get a taxi to go home and back and arriving at my girl's house only to see that she was still in her uniform and chating playfully with her schoolfriend, ignorant to the fact that I was on the virge of breaking out the old chainsaw (vrinnnn vrinn vrinnnnnnn!!!! - wicked sound effects) As fo the movie and whatnot, I can't remember, but i'm sure it ended fairly bitter... as it usually did... back in the old days.

So, hope you had a good read, sorry about the anti-climax :(

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Wussup Party Peoples?

Now before you continue, don't get your hopes up expecting another riveting story from the book of jokes that is my life. This is just a post to let all of my fans out there (all three of you) know that I'm still alive, but barely breathing under this avalanche of work, commitments and (seemingly permanent) sexual frustration. Yeah, abstinence isn't as easy as it sounds. You try abstaining for 17 years!


Nothing really new or interesting happening here for now... Hmmm.... lemme think long and hard........ well.... there is this one girl who seems to have peeked my interest, but that's about all I can say about that....

Well I guess my life is as empty as my fridge and as lonely as my bed at night, which is pretty sad I must admit.

Still no sex, no girlfriend and no cheat codes to Splinter Cell to get me past this stink-ass jungle level.

Oh wait, there is a party on December the ninth that I hope to be going to.... there'll definitely be an update shortly after those festivities... I think...

Boring post isn't it?


Didn't I tell you that it would be? People still don't listen do they?!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Shook Mail pt. 2

Apparently this internet giant has alot of people running scared, believeing everything it tells them.

While we speak of cyberspace, I shall refer heavily to the Matrix for the next few paragraphs.

I see the source of all the problems with email on the internet as Morpheus, your email account as the randomly ringing phone with no caller-ID and the blissfully ignorant mass of E-succlers (people that read chainletters and relay the scourges of internet bliss) as a sea of potential Neos.

Daily, the phone rings and one of the Neos answers it with that vacant Crash Bandicoot expression on his face. All of a sudden, Morpheus jumps up on his table and starts screaming monkey chant instructions at Neo via the telephone, and the fool in return covers his head and does exactly what Morpheus says.

Neo sends information to all the other gullible masses who also relay the shit fest until it crosses my path. I am an agent. A cleaning agent if you must. I am here to (hopefully) once and for all rid the internet of this garbage that is causing a massive traffic pile up on the information super highway. I am here to force a rebirth of the Matrix in a huge wave of information proliferation, starting with... ah shit, let's get to the point!

1. Paying for MSN hotmail - if Bill Gates ever in his right mind decided that MSN (the free email service for us poor niggers) could only be accessible by giving money (another thing niggas don't like to do) then he would hold a conference with media and press for you to see it on TV and hear it on the radio... and not send a personal email to your buddy in the cubicle next to you informing him of the major multi-billion dollar corporation's decision. Think about it, is the office drone 2 feet away that important?

2. Friendship Networks - if it ain't Hi5 or MySpace don't send it to me. You see, Trinidad s a democracy so popular = best., Tag and do not ticle my fancy.

3. My name is not Aberheim Zerkhezi- I did not invent the Blowfish Encryption or the encrytion algorithm used by the NSA or CIA. Do not send me a message that looks like it passed through an encrytion blender. Please.

I didn't get any mail like that in a while, but i'll be happy to demonstrate:



l8rs hoss!

That was an example of a mesage I got from my buddy a while ago. I can't read that! And the worst part about it was that the message was about 4 megs in size - this was back when hotmail gave you a whopping 10 megabytes of email space. You can imagine my disgust.

4. Fuck Luck - You cannot tell me to send something on to a million people in 5 seconds or i'll lose my penis in the next coming moments. Bullshit!! Bad Luck (what I believe) is when your heavenly window of blessings temporarily closes
How about this for a bad luck threat:

Stick 4 razer blades, a pineapple and a porcupine up your ass within the next 5 minutes or your mother will die, a 3 legged donkey will piss on her grave and the swirling sands from the Desert of Lost Souls will find you, engulf you and rip the tender flesh from your brittle bones.

Can you imagine your friends send you these kinds of threats?

5. Finally, Jesus loves you no mater who you are or how many emails you forward. I firmly believe that He is not going to sit all te way up there on His throne, watch your hotmail account and say "You dare defy me!! Forward that message with the earthly representation of Me (that happens to be highly inaccurate) or you will forever burn in the pits of junk email!!!" I think He has better things to do... Unless He's bored... which he isn't. God will love you even if you delete those foolish chainletters. Those letters were started by people who wanted internet recognition among their stupid group of friends, so they compose an email that will make everybody feel guilty to delete and obligated to pass on.

Do like I do when you see them: Check th ebox next to the email> Click "Delete". I do it and I'm still here.

So please, my friends, stop sending me things that waste my time and clog my inbox. Thank you.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Broke as a Mother F***

Yeah well I suppose the title of this post says it all. Damn, those bitches on the manufacturing and selling side of the fence just know how to siphon a nigga's money right out of his pocket.

It's like they lure you to the store with the pretty lights, and as you walk through the door your money some how comes alive and prances its way out of your pocket, roams the aisles and grabs stuff, put it in your hand, ushers you to the cashier's desk, jumps in the cash register which triggers the conveyor belt that pulls you (slowly but surely) right out the door and all this happens before you can greet the sales clerks.

Its ridiculous how I have money one moment, and none the next. The above explanation was the only way I could explain how I end up in these financial quandaries (and at the worst times too).

I have a grand total of $20 in my pocket, and this is before the launch of the PS3 and the beginning of the Holiday season when old female friends of mine seem to crawl out from every crab hole in the gutter to ask for a present. A present that if not presented could mean the end of my balls as I know it.

Just last week, I decided to buy an nVidia 7950 graphics card for $2 500, now I hear this week that the 8800 is going to blow that away (no really, it's gonna bend the 7950 over and deliver it!) and it sells for $425 USD. Yeah, it's just that easy to misspend $2500.

Why do they taunt me so?

My friend Willy on the other had (stone cold gangsta/hustler) knows how to make paper. The man sells the shit that'll make you flip! Gummy bears, Chinese mango, Cakes... the man is the king of this shit man!! If only UTT had such a vast buyers market for such things. Nigga, I'd be on the top. Then again, QRC is practically a drag mall; You can go to school and buy shoes if you're lucky. I wish I were still a student there though.

More on that last piece in the next post.

My eyes hurt and my head throbs. Please let me rest oh mighty Internet.

Pathos Verdes III

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The big Flare! (Not an old person/fat person hater)

First of all, I am not a people-hater, nor a despiser of the elderly; but when you start to make your ass a nuisance, that is where we have a problem.

Take today for example - my day was shitty as is. I expected to have class from 8-11 but instead I had class from 8-4. OK, my fault, who can I blame but myself?

My final two periods were math and as gay as that was, it wasn't all that bad; we got off early.

So if you count it so far, I'm in the hole 2 to 1 with bad luck in the lead.

The journey home on the other hand was where it all fell apart:

I couldn't get a car to drop me to the bus station so I had to walk (I'd say about) 3 frickin' miles in the sizzling sun while dodging traffic and putting up with the mobile scum of the country blasting dub seemingly directly at my tender eardrum. Strike 1.

While walking, I had to put up with fat assed women who apparently have an invisible extra shell that coats them from the sun's stinging rays because they seem pretty comfortable dragging their broad backsides along the sidewalk in the cancer inducing scorge from above all the while carrying on a jolly-light hearted conversation - N.B. I have nothing against fat people - while little me in the back is struggling to plough through your mounds of fat as to be on my way. Now this is not only with fat people though - just basically any old asshole that seems that 4 o' clock in the afternoon or 7 in the morning is a swell time to take a nice, slow stroll through the great ol' P.O.S. is targeted in this little flare piece. Strike 2 by the way.

I got to the bus station and by this point I'm practically ready to pull my hair out; the only thing that stopped me from doing so was the fact that I got a maxi going to my location as soon as I set foot on the platform.

I removed my book-bag and sat quickly as to hide the vertical swimming pool of sweat tattooed on my shirt. As luck would have it, some old woman whom I passed a while back (annoying because she kept saying her thoughts out loud) came and plopped her ass right in the seat in the back of me. Strike 2.33'

Waiting for the shuttle to become filled, another old woman comes trudging to the maxi, one foot in front of the other with each one taking about a year to reach its intended position. I covered my face. She finally reaches the maxi, crocus bags in hand and a look of pure confusion on her face and as that sick, twisted, deserving to be ass-raped by a group of hairy bikers individual named luck would have it, she comes in and sits right next to me. Now usually this wouldn't have been a problem but today was the wrong day for this shit! Visions of prolonged exit procedures, the old woman falling asleep on my shoulder and her asking me ridiculous questions during the journey (like how is your uncle Elroy doing? BTW I don't have an uncle Elroy) on a day like today filled my head to the point of overflowing. The raw zealous hatred for the situation blinded me; but I sat calmly, like a disturbed can of soda ready to fly in the face of anyone who dared to give me the opportunity (by that I mean popping the top :P). Strike 2.66

Alas! My destination - didn't take as long as I expected it to - smooth flowing traffic man, you gotta love it. Now can you remember that part about prolonged exit procedures? Well we're getting to that. After minutes of watching this old lady stroking her bags like a plastic chihuahua It's time for me to come out. I press the bell, pay the driver, the taxi stops. She sits there facing forward. I sit there ready to kick her through the window. I tell her I want to come out (very politely, quote: "Excuse me miss, i'd like to pass please"). She grinds the remaining synovial fluid in her neck to turn her head in my direction. She moves her knees two centimeters to the right and says "pass". STRIKE 3 MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!11!!

At this point i'm ready to go postal on this country. I just stood up, grinding my teeth and just wanting to kick through this old braud's barriers of obstruction; !but! Thanks to my fine training at home, I gingerly tiptoed out of the maxi like a little fairy bitch and stormed my way home.

What have we learnt about this lesson?

1. Please be considerate when using the country's streets - we all share it! Don't stroll along the busy sidewalk in the morning or I will punch you in the head. I don't mind being arrested for that, seriously.
2. To all the children of the elderly, keep them at home and do their tasks for them you lazy shits! You get people like me very aggravated. I'm on the edge, don't push me or I will bounce their ass down next time I see one...ok may be not but i'll find out where you reside and kick your ass personally.

Thank you.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Back To Prison...

Well if you can't wear a spandex jumpsuit, what can you do? Avoiding going back to the gates of hell is definitely one of those things that you can't do while the spandex jumpsuit ban is in order. The best thing to do at this point is to grab your ankles and take it.

Yes you fine people of the Internet, I am officially off the progress bar monitor duty that was my vacation with lady DSL and once again I'm back in the mean hallways of a fine learning institution (at least so it says on the pamphlet).

As you probably know by now, I've graduated from the cesspool of fond memories, class wars and unconventional learning systems that was my dream school, Q.R.C. I've evolved, gone to a higher level and for my blatant relentless evolution I'm currently staring down the double-barrell of a 12 gauge shotgun that is the tertiary education phase (dun, dun, dun!)

The school I attend now is UTT (University of Trinidad and Tobago) and though they claim not to be a second rate UWI (University of the West Indies), I can't help but get that feeling of "little brother-ness" when traipsing throughout the compound, but what do I know right? I just started there!

The school is good with courses that will eventually lead you to your own personal holy grail of academic qualifications. Though focused more on the technical/engineering/science side, you hardly see short, glass wearing, pale-skinned library inhabitants with inhalers in their front pockets darting through the shaded areas of the courtyard hiding from the sun and trying to get to their classes on-time. Strange enough there are girls, some more attractive than others but i'll get into that later.

My peers this time are different - with only one person from my old school in my programme, picking a fight with the other kids may not be such a good idea especially since the other kids are not really kids but men/women in their twenties. I'm not here to pull rank tough, I'm here to learn and make friends and that's where this school shines.

The balanced mix of races and personalities makes for one hodgepodge of personal interactivity. You can come to school and find a platypus enthusiast if you look hard enough. Everybody is warm, friendly and helpful when direction or assistance is needed. The teachers aren't too bad either. When they teach, they TEACH. Some more than others and these few tend to over do the whole teach by example thing a little too much.

Take my math teacher for example, he apparently doesn't understand that after the 15th factorization question, we'd get the point of the whole topic, but he gives us 15 more "just for kicks". That sir, is sick. He knows what he's doing though....I suppose

All in all, they picked the creme of the crop for teachers and after each class you feel like you're closer to passing that specific subject with flying colors (90-100%).

All in all it doesn't seem that bad so far. Tertiary education is a serious issue and it helps if you have competent teachers, friendly peers and good working conditions; and as I said at the beginning, there's nothing much you can do but grab your ankles and take it, and according to my good friend Olivia, it's a lot less painful if you relax and take a deep breath from time to time. I'll take here advice, I'll take any advice to make my 5 years at this fine institution as quick and painless as possible.

Oh BTW, check out my Hi5 profile, browse the pics, add me as a friend if you want. Here's a preview of my Photoshop idleness, I told you I was a model...I wish. lol

Friday, September 08, 2006

Goin Postal on Yo' Narrow Ass!

*** WARNING ***
The following post contains images of a graphic and vile nature. please do not proceed unless you have a strong stomach. Needless to say, the following images are NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN (individuals under the age of 17).

As proof that violent video games do in fact numb your mind, I have assembled the "sweet spot" images of the video game which I am currently playing. These pictures were taken using FRAPS.

Hung this lady upside down then took her head off with a shovel. She tried to kill me.

Diseased cow head. Throw it and let the disease spread throughout a crowd of enemies (or pedestrians)

How you get beef. There's a cow among all this blood...

Where they slaughter people to make "beef"

How you look when you die by burning to death.

Killed this OFFICER by blowing his head off with the SPAS 12 shotgun.
Another shovel death
Cat Silencer. Stick the muzzle of your gun up a cat's ass so that the cat's furry body may muffle the sound.
The first time I played this game, I nearly cried. Just to think that us humans can think of such devious ways to dispose of one another. The people that created this game (those who modeled the headless corpses, programmed the blood dynamics and enabled you to kick a decapitated head) are not people in an insane asylum. These are people just like you and me. Walking around and going to a regular office job. Just a lesson - the human mind is a disgusting place.
It does, however, make a good game though. After the shock value wears off, you'll be hosing ppl down with napalm in no time! At least it works for me...
Have a good night everyone, drive safely!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Behold The Drunken Sheep! (Party Pictures)

** Update - due to the explicit nature of some of the pictures, the individuals in the said pictures have ordered a permenant removal from this website. Sorry guys, maybe next time :( **

They laughed when I asked for orange juice at the bar, but now they see my drunken fury!

The following pictures are a reminder of the Hardcore Limers party on Independence Night. The pictures are also a reminder that you don't need alcohol to behave like a drunken hooligan...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Result Is....Eat Me!!! (N.B. - Not directed to everybody I know... just an F.Y.I.)

Now as you all well know, the grizzly beast of a titan that was CXC has come and gone and in it's wake it has left broken souls on either sides of it path, the wailing and gnashing of teeth, the strong stench of sorrow and regret fills the air and it has initiated a nationwide battle for the Holy Grail of hard work and torture that is 6th form.

Thanks to the grace of God, I was spared that devious fate and I am proud to say that I am fortunate enough to be among my smiling friends, those that have achived those magic figures and letters that ignite the flames of joy in our parent's hearts.

I'm also glad to announce that those "magic numbers and letters" have knocked down a barrier and allowed me to progress to the next stage of my life. A stage where the failures and successes count for alot more than a pat on the back from one of your friends or wheather or not you get to go out this weekend. This is the stage where the path to success is a narrow, thorn-laiden tight-rope and the path to vagancy is wide walkway flowered with fauna bearing Playstation 2 games with roots made out of DSL wiring and soil made of LCD TV screens and monitors.

Like a moth with a mind of it's own, I must resist the allure of the flames of delinquency and trudge along the path which I have chosen, no matter how narrow and scarecly populated it may be.

Anyway, let's get on to the thing that pisses me off the most: I haven't seen you in practically a year, you don't reply to my emails/calls/messages, you don't speak to me online, you avoid me at parties and all of a sudden up pops your email address in a Messenger window and the first thing to come out of your stink, venomous mouth was "wha u get in ur results?" or "how was CXC, wah u get?". To these people, I raise the hugest, longest, juiciest middle finger you've ever seen and wave it in front of your flat, pug face!

As far as i'm concerned, you're dirt to me, a mere acquaintance and undeserving of such information. Damn it even those fucks from Hi5 want to know your business! And I mean, when you tell them that your results were good - they want to know what grades you got. You give them a vague answer and they want to know how much of what you got and in what subjects! I tell you, they're like friggin' sharks over here - hungry to know your damn bizz-nass!!!

What i'm trying to say is, once you know that we haven't been close friends or had any kind of close relationship, don't call my phone or make my taskbar flash orange so that I could hear your stupid voice in my head, starting a meaningless conversation where after speaking only two lines (and not giving me time to respond mind you) you cut to the same damn bleeding question that aggravates me so much!

Once more for the record...

What are my results? NONE OF YOUR FREAKIN' BUSINESS!!!!...

P.S. Eat Me!

Oh BTW, I have taken the advice of my colleagues and I have begun writing a book. It may only be 5 pages long, but its worth a read-thru. Out next yr...hopefully

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Read this carefully! Attend this shit if you know what's good 4 you! Posted by Picasa

Monday, August 14, 2006

A Binary Choice

Friendship - a bond between two people, a labyrinth of truth and lies, left and right roads, boundaries and binary choices too complex for its own sake.

Do I love her? Is this just pure lust?

Everything changed - my thoughts, feelings, emotional status all went bzerk the moment those mahogany doors opened to reveal her. She walked in, a smile like a beacon burning endlessly bright, skin so soft you could distort it with a stare, eyes like elliptical selections of a glistening sea, rays of sun streaming through her hair and the strong confident walk of elegance to mobilize this mass of pure perfection.

Keeping my shock contained would have caused my physical being to explode, I had to vent it in a subtle manner - to prevent her from freaking out. -

Taking a mental stroll back to the very first memories of her filed away in my brain, I saw first hand how beauty can be perfected, how change is not always a bad thing.

But this all boils down to one thing...

She's finally single but I ask myself: Why do I want her so badly? Is it because she's been out of my reach for the past seven years? Or is it just the fact that everybody wants her, and acquiring her as a partner will earn me bragging rights? It can't be the second reason, she's worth much more to me than that - more than a one night stand or a cheap fling at the local hang-out spot.

She sees the side of me that not many people have witnessed. The side that's pure, untouched and completely on the opposite end of the spectrum. She sees right through me - through the jokes, wildness and lude conduct - to the person that's typing this at this very moment. The person who's not conerned about sex or petit flings but only the loyalty and respect of friends and family. The quiet, constructive better behaved side. To see this side means that you have a special gift that not many posess.

Asking her to be my girlfriend is a binary choice. I either do or I don't. But behind each choice is a stream of consequences.

If I do:

- I'll be finally happy with whom I think is the girl of my dreams
- A feeling of completeness finally obtained
- A lifelong dream will finally be fulfilled
- ***Bragging rights will be obtained*** (Just kidding)

If I don't:

- I'll have no choice but to watch her slip through my fingers into the arms of another man while I keep to the back beat and wait for the opportunity to present itself once again.... if it ever does
- Losing her as a friend due to a relationship gone bad would hurt more than anything.
- That one consequence is enough to break a man.

Is there a choice?...

Time and the Lord reveal all things. When the time comes, i'll know what to do with those few precious seconds. But until then, I can do naught but wait and see if a choice has already been made, already written in history's journal.

Movie Progress Update pt. 2

Yesterday was the beginning of the filming process and things did not go as well as I expected them to. That's no reason to give the whole thing a bad review though, i'll lay out the good and the bad.

The Bad:

- We started 5 hours late
- Actors and crew members found that sahring jokes would make the time go by faster (it did... that was a bad thing)
- The scenes/chapters that we wanted to do, did not get properly done (mostly shot from one angle).
- Actors had to speak loudly, thus taking away from the authenticity of the moods. This was due to the lack of a "boom" microphone.
- Because we only had one camera, multi-angle shots were not possible.
- Lucy plans to go away soon therefore shooting of the missed scenes may not be possible over the vacation.
- I hadn't eaten in a long while therefore I was weak and felt a headache coming on, I think that that may have detracted from my already poor acting performance.
- The filming session served as more of a live practice session more than anything else b

The Good:

- All cast members showed up (not on time but they showed up anyway)
- We got our own Personal Assistant
- We got fed ( thanks tot he P.A.)
- Gore make-up was done extrememly well, even without the liquid latex.
- The hard-to-work-with cast member shocked all of us by cancelling an appointment she had. I was so frickin shocked!
- The host allowed us to stay as long as we needed (thanks aunty J.)

All in all, I see that all of the actors are willing to do the part that they were given. Everybody likes the script and so far I have received no type of resistance, in the sense that nobody has ever said "I'm not doing that!" Except for the stripper, but she'll come around to it. :p

Most of all, i'd like to thank my mom. All this time I was thinking that she just saw this project as a "little kids" playtime thing, but it seems that se really is interested in seeing this movie progressing. I mean, she drove for about 2 hrs in the Diego Martin traffic in the hot sun, jst to go and get some extension cords and tapes that we needed. That kinda thing just makes you want to go on. Seeing tha people would make sacrifices like that to help your cause.

Seeing that was like the hand of God, giving my inspiration a boost, making me want to see this project through till then end. Now that the sacrifices have been made and the time and money has been invested, I have no choice, I can't turn back now.

I admit that the movie wouldn't look like much when it's done or at least it won't look like how I planned it to be, but I think that this idea is a great one and it deserves to me treated as such. I'll work on selling the script or getting sponsorship to do the movie over or something but one way or the other, I will see this film thrive.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Movie Progress Update

Things in terms of the movie preps could be better but for the sake of the rest of cast members and the hard work that they're putting in so far and not to mention the good jobs they're doing and the sacrifices that they're making, I won't give a dragged out dreary review of the progress so far all because of one loose screw.

You see this certain cast member is like Cyberdine in T3 - it has become aware that we need itmore than anything so it is doing as it pleases. Showing up late, missing important meetings, hanging up on the director in the middle of a sentence and just blatantly not showig any sort of respect whatsoever. This cast member makes shooting hard as it has a very short fuse and is prone to storming out violently (quitting the project altogether).

Had it been a less significant character in a less significant role then it would have gotten an earful of hurtful phrases but for now i'll hold my tongue until it's alll over. This castmember was literally a bitch to work with but I know that all movie projects have seen their hardships. This is just my share. I turn to Kevin Smith's "Clerks" experience for inspiration and that keeps me focused and calm.

In terms of the other cast members, I have NO PROBLEMS WITH THEM AT ALL!! They all funcion like well-oiled machines. They might arrive a little late now and then but the point is - they arrive and they do one hell of a good job.

So... after a lengthy practice session today, me, Jabari and Justin took a walk to Justin's house to relax a little until my mom came to pick us up. Here are some pics: here

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Can Anybody Explain?

You know, comin to think of it, most of what happens around us, what we do and say do not make one bit of sense whatsoever!

Ok take singing boys for example. We admit to a girl that we could/do sing and that sets off the fag alarm but one white kid with bleached, blonde hair who hasn't even had his balls dropped yet or his voice broken gets up on stage and sings like a bitch and all the girls go crazy! What's with that? Can anybody explain?

The next thing is the boy bands - good lord I haven't come across more crap in my life! What is with you teenage girls (and gay boys)? Ok, if a me and a bunch of my friends decide to wear pink shirts and do a synchronised dance at a party, everybody will call us the new village people. Some other group of saps do it and the girls go crazy!

I know that it can't be because they're "so hot" or "sooo dreamy" because our local boy band consists of the following: One of the guys used to work at my school library and the others I saw liming on the block a few streets down from my grandparent's house. Now before they sang their song they were considered "alright" or a 5 out of 10 but after the "Surge" craze, the whole teen girl population went ape shit. Jumpin Jammy lammy on a frickin' stick! The girls dowh here went crazy!

Is it the fame, is it the power they posess of wearing homosexual clothes and not be considered gay or is it the fact that people just have a string of DNA that makes it a pleasurable experience to wear other people's sweaty clothes or pay plenty to see people dance? I don't know, can anybody explain?

Last but not least is the saying "a different kettle of fish" who the hell pust fish in a kettle?

Thank you.

Monday, July 24, 2006

A Little Too Graphic Do You Think?

After a brief conversation with one of my associates about my last post, it has come to my attention that alot of people find that I am a very dangerous, psychotic individual of sorts. To those people, I extend a warm hand of friendship and reconciliation as I move ever so closer to your trembling ear to whisper a single word that will put an end to your "Dark Kevin" paranoia. And the magic word is... Magnification....

You see, when i'm in a certain mood whether it be angry, frustrated etc. I tend to release my anger not by beating somebody to death with a 12" lead pipe, but to hit the keys on my keyboard really hard while letting the anger trickle out of my brain, along the 10 rivers that are my fingers and finally manifest itself in the open arms of the sea of unison that is my keyboard and the computer screen. In other words, the views expressed are all exaggerated, magnifed projections of my mood at the time.

It's like when one of those female artists paint a dark picture of some guy getting his balls chopped off because her boyfriend left her or it's like when Alanis Morsette writes a song. All these are mediums for expressing one's self and i'd be damned if i'm being chastised for using the internet as mine. Well actually that's not worth getting damned for but still...

So the next time you read a dark post written by me, just shake your head and say "There he goes again" and let it slide. there's a scroll bar on the right hand side of your screen, use it!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Another Typical Day.. Full of Stress!

Ah my dear blog, I am worn. I have just finished the sript rewrite and currently in the process of doing some rather half-assed character sketches to give these actors a personality to try to immitate. My dar blog, for all this torture, it is imperitive that my movie be a blockbuster hit.

Between not getting enough sleep and going to the gym, i'm yet to find a reason why I should have any energy left to do this shit at this ungodly hour.

What haunts my thoughts right now is that my work is far from done and I have a full, hectic day tomorrow. A haircut, conference at movie towne, character sketches to finish and a party to attend with people to pick up for a certain time are all on the agenda for tomorrow. The stress continues till Sunday afternoon when I might finally be able to catch a little shut-eye.

Here are some pictures of what I was doing a little earlier.

My home office where I slave alll day making the slop you want to read. Posted by Picasa

Me slaving over the Movie Script. The place was so hot, I had to take of my jersey! Pants barely on my waist, hair in need of grooming - i'm a real mess right now. Posted by Picasa

Monday, July 17, 2006

Jus Jibbin

Ah, well, finally! A day worth remembering. A day I enjoyed and it's all due to my three favorite letters in the alphabet DSL.

Now to you Americans and foreign visitors I probably sound like a bush monkey but in Trinidad, a service like this is expensive and not affordable to the general public - only to the high powered executives and privilaged kids. But who gives a shit? I bet you want to hear about my day, don't you?

Anyway, my friend Jabari came over. We surfed the net, downloaded some music *leagally from iTunes of course*, talked som crap, viewed a few Hi5 profiles, added some girls and in general did stuff that guys susally do when they limin. Though subtle, and sounding boring It was a nice change from the ordinary though.

The following pictures and the one above were taken today...

Posted by Picasa

Eating a piece of cake like a moms pie. It real hard to break the QRC spirit boy! Posted by Picasa

Us watching the GTA: LCS review on Posted by Picasa

Me getting frustrated looking for a piece of software to "buy" from Kazaa lol Posted by Picasa

Sunday, July 16, 2006

It Is Done!

Ah my dear blog, after hours of torture, sweat and headaches I have finally completed it! The website update is now complete.

The new tone of the website makes for a more relaxed, personal experience that many people my age wcould deal with (in other words, i had to drop my standards a bit). From the one review that I received so far, it seems that I did a good job. The only thing left to beef up now is you! I'll add some pictures maybe tomorrow or the day after, I can't find the really interesting stuff now.

The movie that i spoke about shoting is really becomming a bother to me. Restrictions of my ADSL line forbid me from using certain P2P programs that I love. The only program that I can use is LimeWire and that has some law against copyright infringement. What's up with that? A P2P program with morals? That's like a rapist who uses condoms!

Right now I just want to chill out and listen to some tunes on my phone... or maybe download some more (DSL kicks ass!)

Until the morn. my dear blog.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Yay! I'm back!

Yes people of the internet, I have once again returned to scorch your surfing experience with my presence! My ADSL line is working perfectly and I feel like i'm the king of the world.

So long has it been since I've driven on the information super highway without once glancing at my fuel meter, hoping that I don't run out of the precious gasoline that was the 20 hours of my monthly internet rental. Now I have a 24 hour dedicated line. The only time you'll miss me now is when i'm sleeping or away shooting my movie.

Yes it's true, i'm currently working on Minimum Pleasure, a short action film inspired by Max Payne and GTA. I'm the writer, producer, director and main character, so my portion of work is large to say the least. So far we've had a few meetings and our fair share of set-backs but i'm willing to press on because this is going to cement my name in the hallowed internet hall of fame.

The beasts that were Mr. Knights and my CXC examinations have been laid to rest on June 12th 2006. With the final shading of option B in my Spanish multiple choice, I rose up , shook my chains of mental slavery and began to piece my life back together, live it to the fullest.

it feels nice to run back to the loving arms and the itemless face of the MSN messenger guy and see all my friends, trembling with joy, ready to make the bottom of my screen flash blue and play that annoying sound clip that drives me so crazy.

I shall update you tomorrow my dear sweeet blog with pictures of the summer's happenings. Good night and a pleasant tomorrow.

Friday, May 19, 2006


Hey blog, so long since I posted to you last with substancial attention to detail. Now mind you that this post is not signalling my return to the blogging community just yet; it just signals that Hi5 is a dangerous place to put your gym progress pictures.

Now don't get me wrong, I respect people of all sexual orientations reguardless if people find that that view is wrong or not. Homosexuality sometimes comes about because of reasons beyond a person's control. I can't blame you for that. I'll speak to you like any other person but once you start trying to impose our sexuality on me, then we'll have a problem.... a huge one... like "shit from Godzilla's ass" huge.

Now i've been working out recently and putting little pictures of my progress on the internet and as I expected both guys and girls find it attractive and i'm cool with that but one mo' fo' found out my number somehow and has some asshole calling me and annoying the fuck out of my soul!

I swear I had to curse him kinda hard tonight. Now based on a certain statement made, he's probably mixed up with my sexuality even though I have "STRAIGHT" on my profile, but humans make mistakes. To his statement, I responded out of shock with a harsh and shrill phrase that I heard from a game once. I shudder to repeat it.

I'll give you more details some other time...

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Short but sweet

Well, with CXC exams barking up the ass, I find it hard to update my blog these days. For my loyal readers (all 3 of you) I wish to let you know that you could still contact me via Hi5 or my email

I'll be back blogging hard when my exams are over. lemme give you a hint - party pics, half-naked girls and sex scenes........ ok maybe not the sex scenes.

I'll be back summer 2006.