Thursday, December 07, 2006

Unbelievable

Sorry to disappoint, but the title has nothing to do with my performance in the bedroom, and by performance I mean the little demonstration of my hardcore gaming skills that I entertain my guests with when they come to visit ;)

The title more pertains to my wanton disregard and failure to prioritise tasks and objectives. Take today for example - between getting my ass rinsed in a fight and trying to solicit sex from random interned hotties, I find myself making time to listen to Vybz Kartel talk about AK's, subs, rubber gloves, black talons and vaginas.

I don't know about you, but these don't sound like the precautionary measures I should be taking against having to repeat my first semester. Lemme break down that point for you:

In my school, If you fail one out of your seven courses in any semester, you do over the whole year. its that simple. Currently, my Chemistry mark rivals that of yesterday's Lottery draw in a stiff, neck and neck competition to see which one can pull a lower number (place all bets on my Chem mark btw.)

Things don't look too promising, and did I mention that my exams start next week? Yeah, I'm just one of those guys.

Well would you look at that? This is the first substantial entry I made in a long time. Wow! I'm proud of myself.

I know who's to blame though - this girl I'm seeing. You see, after I tell her how sucky my day, week, month or life is going, I feel as though I don't need to tell anybody else because... I've already told everybody I need to tell so I don't come here to write about it.


I guess the reason I started this blog was to relate my crappy situations to somebody who'll always be listening and not complain about how much I talk, or cut me off because they have more urgent matters to attend to. I started it because I thought that the qualities of a blank text entry widget could not be found in any person. I now know that I was wrong. I'm glad I am.

Its unbelievable how she does it. Though her responses to some of my most unfortunate experiences were not what I would call "humane" or "kind", the cruelty hits me hard at first, then fades away; dissipates into a mist that I sail through as it turns into nothing but a dismembered apparition behind me... but wait a minute, who am I trying to bullshit? Quite frankly I think I've developed the Herbivore Syndrome since I started relating her stories i.e. When she laughs at my misfortunes, I grind my teeth so much that, by now, they're probably all the same length and as dull as a Holy Name chick, thus rendering me almost incapable of eating meat. (Herbivore Syndrome)

You know how it feels to have somebody laugh at your near-paralyzed ass after you told them you injured your back at the gym? I tell you, it's no orgasm!

But no matter, this girl's amazing. She has the ear that always listens, the eyes that see through my outer shell of coarse masculinity, the voice that lulls my inner beast of insanity to sleep and the rhythm that the wild beating of my heart was looking for. She kind of makes this blog seem redundant and unnecessary. I'll tell you more about her later though...

Now what was I going to write about now.... shit!!!
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