Sunday, February 04, 2007

From the Chuuuch to the Palace

Well what do ya' know? It's another Sunday morning. To me, Sunday is all about preparing for Monday, and it's so much the case that I wake up to the same screaming life giver, tired eyes and that haunting call of the shower's heater... grrrrr! The only difference between today and it's successor is the fact that I'm not going to school, but I'm still going to a place where listening, learning and not playing games on my cell phone are still the order of the day. The good thing is that it doesn't last as long as school does.

The place I'm speaking of is Church. I know this is a touchy topic since it's supposed to be a place of The Lord and people should actually WANT to go there, but visions of youth perfection aside, I'd rather be at home playing Splinter Cell (Chaos Theory not the stripped down version of Double Agent). Don't get me wrong, I'm no heathen as a matter of fact most of the choices I've made in my life stemmed from what knowledge I have of The Lord's teachings and I do in fact talk to Him pretty often. I'm talking to Him right now as a matter of fact asking Him to not strike me down for writing about His house... I'm sure He has bigger fish to fry anyway. PLUS! Every time I mention His sacred pronouns, I put the "H" in upper case and so forth.

Now that The Lord knows that this is nothing serious, we can get on to the coverage of My Day at the Holy Sanctuary.

Ok where do I begin.. Ummm... Mom screaming... couldn't find socks.... underwear... Ah! Here we go, now I know that all are welcomed in The Lord's house (m'kay) but somebody forgot to mention the policy about sanitation and bio-hazards. See, There was this fat lady in the row in front of me- she had a cold or something, anyway all I'm saying is I've never heard so much blowing since the last Kenny G. concert! My God! There was a point in time where I thought she was going to blow her brains out. I actually heard the mucus peeling off of her nasal cartilage; then she took the rag and really (I man really) rubbed her nose all up in it. Any more and she would have sanded it down to Michal Jackson perfection. For the rest of the service though, she was quiet and she only blew her nose when she heard subtle background music that she thought drowned out her symphony of disgust... what thought can make a person do.

The original Pastor of the church wasn't there this morning but his substitute was just as good. She had no problems keeping the friendly, yet quiet atmosphere while delivering a gripping message. I invite all my readers to visit my church one Sunday. Don't come if you didn't get enough sleep because you won't be able to enjoy it comfortably. Though the service is never boring, if you are black (like me) then the soft seats and the A/C will definitely put your ass right back to sleep, which happens to conflict with the "No Sleeping" policy :( . I go to Trinidad Christian Center and you'll have to look up the address in the phone book because I don't know where it is because my mommy drops me :) Take it from me, you will fall back to sleep! Satan's clothes pins had a nice pinch on my eye lids this morning, I'll tell you that; one of the few times I liked to put my head down and pray (head down, eyes closed - kind of like sleeping... which I was doing - forgive me Lord)

So that was the service portion. Not many juicy details there... nor in the next portion:

So the service was over and it's time to leave. The preacher lady told us to greet somebody on our way out... pssh!! Yeah right!! Negro, I was out my lane, in the aisle and by the exit faster than it takes for me to fail Chem (which I should be studying - steups!) My rapid exit was hindered by my mom's sudden obsession to horde all things Gospel - she went to the opposite side of the church to get this CD with God, mommy and whoever else was paying attention knows what was on it. It was because of her obsessive impulse, that I ended up behind this stupid pair of ladies inching their way toward the exit. People! This is church not the damn DMV - Move it along!

On the outside the sun was a cruel monster. The trek to the car park seemed longer than usual. Funny how Satan's clothes pins left my eye lids when I came outside... is it because he hates hot places... nah, can't be! I'm glad to know that it's not just me "hating" to go to church that has me so sleepy during the sermon but it is, in fact, genuine fatigue. I'm just as tired as I was in church as I'm writing this. I'm not as tired, however when I set my foot out the door of the Sanctuary... Change of environment give me energy, perhaps? Whatever.

So yeah, that's all there was to it. I'm home now, gonna take a nap, get up and start some Chem and I invite you once again to visit my place of worship, I promise it'll be a new worship experience for you. It's only from 8-11, comfortable environment, interesting messages, no babies crying and that lady's cold should pass by the time you visit.

Have a blessed day!