Sunday, January 14, 2007

Minimum Pleasure

Greetings fine people of the internet and welcome to another installment of Master Kevin's Theater. Masterpiece theater sucked ass and I think you grew out of MonsterPiece Theater by now, so please allow me to entertain you with another thrilling tale from the life of Kevin...

LMAO hahahahaha, there's nothing interesting or thrilling here, but while you're reading this crap and you've reached this far, why not continue? If you haven't picked up on it by now, the past paragraph and two lines were just my corny way of saying that nothing interesting happened recently and this is just one of those updates that I think is necessary for every blog to have.

Did you see how I coaxed you all into reading this entry? I put down a little sugar trail to excite your mental taste buds and while you dragged your tongue over the deceit the sugar crystals lay on and soaked in the release of your own endorphins, the monster that comprises of all things boring catapulted from behind a small shrub and sank its teeth into your soft, tender back meat. Don't feel bad though, that's what happened to me when I signed up for University.

The ads on the papers were so bright and colouful, teeming with whimsical lies of academic development, and I, like a naive child in a candy store tugged on the hems of my parent's garments and looked up at her with glittering eyes that said "I want to learn!" Sure enough, my tactic persuaded her and before I knew it I was hand wrapped, labeled and shipped off in a hand basket straight to the bowels of my doom.

You heard me, bowels! I'm being shit on every day I wake up to face the dreaded Chemistry archfiend. Damn it, I wish I stayed at home scratching. Four more years of this shit? NEGRO PA-LEASE!!!

Speaking of staying home, home is where I was for the past few days; writing songs depicting and encouraging wanton acts of debauchery and crime. Happy to say that as of yesterday, I scrapped my already written songs and decided to start over with some cleaner lyrics and a not-so-negative message. Instead of encouraging infidelity, sex, violence and pretty much everything that I've never experienced or been taught, I'd sing on some dancing, messing up bitches and hoes and other juvenile crap. We'll see how the public reacts to the new Mr. Breaker/DSHeep when they no longer hear me talking about Teflon tipped bullets, semi-automatic weapons, vaginas, gay dudes and the rest of weapons from my arsenal of wrong... stuff. I don't think the fans would appreciate it too much, but if it's negativity they want, then they won't be getting any more of it from me. (Thank my friend, who is a girl that I like very much, for the turn-around)

While we're on the topic of positive crap, I submitted my movie plot outline to the one and only Mr. Errol Fabien (did I get the name right?) Well, I didn't hand it to him personally, but I gave it to the TV Station's nice receptionist. I hope he calls back soon. My hope is through the roof because I have a list of actors that have been waiting for some follow up after the shooting of the first and 7th chapter of the movie. Every time I go to QRC I always get questions pertaining to the movie's progress. Don't get me wrong, I'm elated that people are still interested in the project and I can assure them that I'm trying my best to put everything in order so that when the film is done, people don't point at the screen and laugh or walk out or call it crap. I don't think you'd want your name in the credits of a movie like that do you? Actors, I'm begging for your patience.

...SO I handed in the package with the plot, my name, address and other contact information and I really hope to get a response from him soon. I'm having doubts though, because Gayelle TV is more of a family oriented channel, a channel so local that they show off everybody's Tobago shine without shame and the only thing foreign they have is the equipment (though I think I saw a bamboo camera stand the day I was at the studio lol, jk) My movie on the other hand, is a little dark, gritty and more on the mature side with a hint of American dialoge. Part 1 and 2 can scrape a PG-13 rating but part 3 is definite R. It's gonna be hard convincing a channel like that to help out with a show that has fighting, guns, robbery, kissing and strippers (ok, maybe not strippers) but I'll do whatever I can, because sacrifices have already been made and I'm not going to be the reason that a whole day of people's lives were wasted.

So that's what's been going on recently in the life of K. Sheppard. Let's recap:

- School sucks
- My music career is on the fast track to enduring the same fate of Maximus Dan's
- My movie that has a high level of grit, violence and mass criminal behavior has been submitted to a family channel and I'm expecting a response some time soon.
- Oh, and I uploaded some Minimum Pleasure (name of the movie) prequels to YouTube! Enjoy!

Minimum Pleasure Prequel: Part 1- The Beginning of the End

Minimum Pleasure Prequel: Part 2- I Swear it Was Self-Defense

3 more parts before the point where the movie starts from.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

What's Been Going On

Well it's been a long time since I've scribbled in my notebook of thought (that's you, Blog), and I bet you want to know what's been taking place with me recently. Well I can't say that life's been a bitch, but it hasn't been the most giving of happy moments. It's been behaving like the distant cousin who is twice your age that comes to visit and momentarily gives you the obligatory "what's up" when passing in the hallway - nothing bad, yet nothing great.

Right now I'm working on this website for the St. Francois Girls' College and I'll tell you that it's no picnic. The color scheme that they gave me to work with is a little bit out of the ordinary which makes it hard for me to find pictures, color complements and other content that matches. I mean, how easy is it to find an illustrated tree with diagonally crossing gold and white gradients that's about 200x300 pixels in size? Not very easy, I'll tell you that. I LOVE the web team I'm working with - very understanding, considerate and generally wonderful people. The patience factor is very high with these people for I have been working on this website for a long time... I better not make it too long.

Aside from that though, everything's just cool, but I happened to stumble upon one of the most impossible of confirmations; one greater than any Catholic may undergo - I confirmed the age old myth... people are idiots. Idiots with an agenda of "Piss Off Kevin". I don't know, am I such a great person to talk to that you must ignore my MSN Messenger status and talk to an empty seat in front of the computer with the hope that the ghost of my presence there will respond? Last time I checked, I was pretty much the average Joe. Here's the problem:

Scenario 1: I usually set my status as "Busy" when I only want to talk to a select crowd of people or when I'm generally entangled in the trappings of my tasks to be completed... yet still my task bar flashes orange with instant messages. Why is this? Because people have no fucking respect for you and what you are doing. I am BUSY, people!!! Why are you bothering me?

Scenario 2: I set my status as "Away" when avoiding people or when I'm genuinely not at my PC... Again the same morons keep sending me instant messages when I'm not there and they have the gall to get pissed when I don't respond. I don't mind if you send me a message that's just for me to take notice of and read at my earliest convenience. There's email for that, but if you think I'll get the message sooner on MSN then OK, fine. Don't start a conversation with "Hi, how u doin?" and there's a big clock saying "Away" winking you in the face. It's just dumb.

The thing that pisses me off most is that some of them are so bold as to tell me where I am. They would say things like "I know you're there, you're just not responding". Well how about this - how about I come to your house when nobody's there, knock on the door and call you out; when nobody comes out I get all angry and piss on your doorstep and take a shit on your porch furniture because I "know" that you're there and not coming out to talk to me. Does that sound like the actions of a sane person to you? I think not.

Scenario 3: I downloaded this Messnger Puls! Thing and it gives you the option of personalizing your online status. I took this opportunity to try extinguish the flames of stupidity that try to consume me when I'm lounging on my internet armchair. I set my status as "Away" with the personal message "No, seriously, I'm not here. I went to the store and I'll be back when I get back" and I put an auto-responder "Bitch! I said I'm not here! Open your fucking eyes and read my status!!!!" in case anybody tried to IM me. I get back from the store 15 mins later and there are 4 conversations opened with people's hurt feelings crawling out of the screen and dragging their slime trail all over my desk. It was then my duty to go to each person and explain to them what had happened (that I wasn't there, etc.) It has to be that these people can't read... but one question though - how can you be illiterate in a chat room?

I don't know what else to say. The next step would be training the MSN logo-dude to jump out of the screen and bitch slap the lot of them for being so stupid. But to answer my earlier question - it's not that they can't read, it's just that they're as stupid as last week Thursday's lunch menu and twice as disgusting. People are idots.

In terms of love life, things can't be better. I ain't getting no "snoo-snoo" but who's complaining? It's the love that's important right?... right?... Your silence says it all :(

This girls got me crazy though. Doing and saying things that I never did/said before and everything I say, I mean. People who knew me from long before would be shocked to hear me say that, seeing that I wasn't much of a "one woman dude", but I'm not lying to say that this girl's got me sprung (yeah, I said it)

So what have we got?

*Current Tasks [x]

*Shit that's bothering me [x]

*Love life info that people won't care about [x]

Yip, sounds like a complete blog entry to me.