Now as you all well know, the grizzly beast of a titan that was CXC has come and gone and in it's wake it has left broken souls on either sides of it path, the wailing and gnashing of teeth, the strong stench of sorrow and regret fills the air and it has initiated a nationwide battle for the Holy Grail of hard work and torture that is 6th form.
Thanks to the grace of God, I was spared that devious fate and I am proud to say that I am fortunate enough to be among my smiling friends, those that have achived those magic figures and letters that ignite the flames of joy in our parent's hearts.
I'm also glad to announce that those "magic numbers and letters" have knocked down a barrier and allowed me to progress to the next stage of my life. A stage where the failures and successes count for alot more than a pat on the back from one of your friends or wheather or not you get to go out this weekend. This is the stage where the path to success is a narrow, thorn-laiden tight-rope and the path to vagancy is wide walkway flowered with fauna bearing Playstation 2 games with roots made out of DSL wiring and soil made of LCD TV screens and monitors.
Like a moth with a mind of it's own, I must resist the allure of the flames of delinquency and trudge along the path which I have chosen, no matter how narrow and scarecly populated it may be.
Anyway, let's get on to the thing that pisses me off the most: I haven't seen you in practically a year, you don't reply to my emails/calls/messages, you don't speak to me online, you avoid me at parties and all of a sudden up pops your email address in a Messenger window and the first thing to come out of your stink, venomous mouth was "wha u get in ur results?" or "how was CXC, wah u get?". To these people, I raise the hugest, longest, juiciest middle finger you've ever seen and wave it in front of your flat, pug face!
As far as i'm concerned, you're dirt to me, a mere acquaintance and undeserving of such information. Damn it even those fucks from Hi5 want to know your business! And I mean, when you tell them that your results were good - they want to know what grades you got. You give them a vague answer and they want to know how much of what you got and in what subjects! I tell you, they're like friggin' sharks over here - hungry to know your damn bizz-nass!!!
What i'm trying to say is, once you know that we haven't been close friends or had any kind of close relationship, don't call my phone or make my taskbar flash orange so that I could hear your stupid voice in my head, starting a meaningless conversation where after speaking only two lines (and not giving me time to respond mind you) you cut to the same damn bleeding question that aggravates me so much!
Once more for the record...
What are my results? NONE OF YOUR FREAKIN' BUSINESS!!!!...
P.S. Eat Me!
Oh BTW, I have taken the advice of my colleagues and I have begun writing a book. It may only be 5 pages long, but its worth a read-thru. Out next yr...hopefully
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
A Binary Choice
Friendship - a bond between two people, a labyrinth of truth and lies, left and right roads, boundaries and binary choices too complex for its own sake.
Do I love her? Is this just pure lust?
Everything changed - my thoughts, feelings, emotional status all went bzerk the moment those mahogany doors opened to reveal her. She walked in, a smile like a beacon burning endlessly bright, skin so soft you could distort it with a stare, eyes like elliptical selections of a glistening sea, rays of sun streaming through her hair and the strong confident walk of elegance to mobilize this mass of pure perfection.
Keeping my shock contained would have caused my physical being to explode, I had to vent it in a subtle manner - to prevent her from freaking out. -
Do I love her? Is this just pure lust?
Everything changed - my thoughts, feelings, emotional status all went bzerk the moment those mahogany doors opened to reveal her. She walked in, a smile like a beacon burning endlessly bright, skin so soft you could distort it with a stare, eyes like elliptical selections of a glistening sea, rays of sun streaming through her hair and the strong confident walk of elegance to mobilize this mass of pure perfection.
Keeping my shock contained would have caused my physical being to explode, I had to vent it in a subtle manner - to prevent her from freaking out. -
Taking a mental stroll back to the very first memories of her filed away in my brain, I saw first hand how beauty can be perfected, how change is not always a bad thing.
But this all boils down to one thing...
She's finally single but I ask myself: Why do I want her so badly? Is it because she's been out of my reach for the past seven years? Or is it just the fact that everybody wants her, and acquiring her as a partner will earn me bragging rights? It can't be the second reason, she's worth much more to me than that - more than a one night stand or a cheap fling at the local hang-out spot.
She sees the side of me that not many people have witnessed. The side that's pure, untouched and completely on the opposite end of the spectrum. She sees right through me - through the jokes, wildness and lude conduct - to the person that's typing this at this very moment. The person who's not conerned about sex or petit flings but only the loyalty and respect of friends and family. The quiet, constructive better behaved side. To see this side means that you have a special gift that not many posess.
Asking her to be my girlfriend is a binary choice. I either do or I don't. But behind each choice is a stream of consequences.
If I do:
- I'll be finally happy with whom I think is the girl of my dreams
- A feeling of completeness finally obtained
- A lifelong dream will finally be fulfilled
- ***Bragging rights will be obtained*** (Just kidding)
If I don't:
- I'll have no choice but to watch her slip through my fingers into the arms of another man while I keep to the back beat and wait for the opportunity to present itself once again.... if it ever does
- Losing her as a friend due to a relationship gone bad would hurt more than anything.
- That one consequence is enough to break a man.
Is there a choice?...
Time and the Lord reveal all things. When the time comes, i'll know what to do with those few precious seconds. But until then, I can do naught but wait and see if a choice has already been made, already written in history's journal.
Movie Progress Update pt. 2
Yesterday was the beginning of the filming process and things did not go as well as I expected them to. That's no reason to give the whole thing a bad review though, i'll lay out the good and the bad.
The Bad:
- We started 5 hours late
- Actors and crew members found that sahring jokes would make the time go by faster (it did... that was a bad thing)
- The scenes/chapters that we wanted to do, did not get properly done (mostly shot from one angle).
- Actors had to speak loudly, thus taking away from the authenticity of the moods. This was due to the lack of a "boom" microphone.
- Because we only had one camera, multi-angle shots were not possible.
- Lucy plans to go away soon therefore shooting of the missed scenes may not be possible over the vacation.
- I hadn't eaten in a long while therefore I was weak and felt a headache coming on, I think that that may have detracted from my already poor acting performance.
- The filming session served as more of a live practice session more than anything else b
The Good:
- All cast members showed up (not on time but they showed up anyway)
- We got our own Personal Assistant
- We got fed ( thanks tot he P.A.)
- Gore make-up was done extrememly well, even without the liquid latex.
- The hard-to-work-with cast member shocked all of us by cancelling an appointment she had. I was so frickin shocked!
- The host allowed us to stay as long as we needed (thanks aunty J.)
All in all, I see that all of the actors are willing to do the part that they were given. Everybody likes the script and so far I have received no type of resistance, in the sense that nobody has ever said "I'm not doing that!" Except for the stripper, but she'll come around to it. :p
Most of all, i'd like to thank my mom. All this time I was thinking that she just saw this project as a "little kids" playtime thing, but it seems that se really is interested in seeing this movie progressing. I mean, she drove for about 2 hrs in the Diego Martin traffic in the hot sun, jst to go and get some extension cords and tapes that we needed. That kinda thing just makes you want to go on. Seeing tha people would make sacrifices like that to help your cause.
Seeing that was like the hand of God, giving my inspiration a boost, making me want to see this project through till then end. Now that the sacrifices have been made and the time and money has been invested, I have no choice, I can't turn back now.
I admit that the movie wouldn't look like much when it's done or at least it won't look like how I planned it to be, but I think that this idea is a great one and it deserves to me treated as such. I'll work on selling the script or getting sponsorship to do the movie over or something but one way or the other, I will see this film thrive.
The Bad:
- We started 5 hours late
- Actors and crew members found that sahring jokes would make the time go by faster (it did... that was a bad thing)
- The scenes/chapters that we wanted to do, did not get properly done (mostly shot from one angle).
- Actors had to speak loudly, thus taking away from the authenticity of the moods. This was due to the lack of a "boom" microphone.
- Because we only had one camera, multi-angle shots were not possible.
- Lucy plans to go away soon therefore shooting of the missed scenes may not be possible over the vacation.
- I hadn't eaten in a long while therefore I was weak and felt a headache coming on, I think that that may have detracted from my already poor acting performance.
- The filming session served as more of a live practice session more than anything else b
The Good:
- All cast members showed up (not on time but they showed up anyway)
- We got our own Personal Assistant
- We got fed ( thanks tot he P.A.)
- Gore make-up was done extrememly well, even without the liquid latex.
- The hard-to-work-with cast member shocked all of us by cancelling an appointment she had. I was so frickin shocked!
- The host allowed us to stay as long as we needed (thanks aunty J.)
All in all, I see that all of the actors are willing to do the part that they were given. Everybody likes the script and so far I have received no type of resistance, in the sense that nobody has ever said "I'm not doing that!" Except for the stripper, but she'll come around to it. :p
Most of all, i'd like to thank my mom. All this time I was thinking that she just saw this project as a "little kids" playtime thing, but it seems that se really is interested in seeing this movie progressing. I mean, she drove for about 2 hrs in the Diego Martin traffic in the hot sun, jst to go and get some extension cords and tapes that we needed. That kinda thing just makes you want to go on. Seeing tha people would make sacrifices like that to help your cause.
Seeing that was like the hand of God, giving my inspiration a boost, making me want to see this project through till then end. Now that the sacrifices have been made and the time and money has been invested, I have no choice, I can't turn back now.
I admit that the movie wouldn't look like much when it's done or at least it won't look like how I planned it to be, but I think that this idea is a great one and it deserves to me treated as such. I'll work on selling the script or getting sponsorship to do the movie over or something but one way or the other, I will see this film thrive.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Movie Progress Update
Things in terms of the movie preps could be better but for the sake of the rest of cast members and the hard work that they're putting in so far and not to mention the good jobs they're doing and the sacrifices that they're making, I won't give a dragged out dreary review of the progress so far all because of one loose screw.
You see this certain cast member is like Cyberdine in T3 - it has become aware that we need itmore than anything so it is doing as it pleases. Showing up late, missing important meetings, hanging up on the director in the middle of a sentence and just blatantly not showig any sort of respect whatsoever. This cast member makes shooting hard as it has a very short fuse and is prone to storming out violently (quitting the project altogether).
Had it been a less significant character in a less significant role then it would have gotten an earful of hurtful phrases but for now i'll hold my tongue until it's alll over. This castmember was literally a bitch to work with but I know that all movie projects have seen their hardships. This is just my share. I turn to Kevin Smith's "Clerks" experience for inspiration and that keeps me focused and calm.
In terms of the other cast members, I have NO PROBLEMS WITH THEM AT ALL!! They all funcion like well-oiled machines. They might arrive a little late now and then but the point is - they arrive and they do one hell of a good job.
So... after a lengthy practice session today, me, Jabari and Justin took a walk to Justin's house to relax a little until my mom came to pick us up. Here are some pics: here
You see this certain cast member is like Cyberdine in T3 - it has become aware that we need itmore than anything so it is doing as it pleases. Showing up late, missing important meetings, hanging up on the director in the middle of a sentence and just blatantly not showig any sort of respect whatsoever. This cast member makes shooting hard as it has a very short fuse and is prone to storming out violently (quitting the project altogether).
Had it been a less significant character in a less significant role then it would have gotten an earful of hurtful phrases but for now i'll hold my tongue until it's alll over. This castmember was literally a bitch to work with but I know that all movie projects have seen their hardships. This is just my share. I turn to Kevin Smith's "Clerks" experience for inspiration and that keeps me focused and calm.
In terms of the other cast members, I have NO PROBLEMS WITH THEM AT ALL!! They all funcion like well-oiled machines. They might arrive a little late now and then but the point is - they arrive and they do one hell of a good job.
So... after a lengthy practice session today, me, Jabari and Justin took a walk to Justin's house to relax a little until my mom came to pick us up. Here are some pics: here
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