Monday, January 07, 2008

SOmething Interesting for a Change

Well folks, it's the 7th of January. For most of you, it's just another working day, for me and the other students of our little island, it marks the beginning of a three month long orgy of pain; the first few seconds of the Wailing and the Gnashing of Teeth track on the Teen Life soundtrack CD.

Today was registration day for me, which meant no classes. I thought it was going to be another run-of-the-mill errand running day (photocopy this, sign this, fill out that) but I couldn't be more wrong... well actually I'm not that wrong seeing as there was indeed some paper pushing, but there were some rather interesting elements that got thrown into the mix to make sure that today ended with four eyes and a smile ;)

Ok the first order of business for the day was to go to the bank. I hate banks - I hate banks especially at lunch time when there are hardly any tellers, because they just need to eat at 12 in the afternoon. Can't they starve for a hour or two? For what its worth, standing in that winding line for about a hour gave me the opportunity to observe an assortment of some of our country's colourful characters:

The sludge the country's efficiency engine (old people) were ever present, armed to the dentures with pension cheques and bags of 1 cent pieces. There was the old playboy in the row across from me - short, wreaking of cologne and drowning in a sea of silver and gold chains and rings. He looks like one of those old fogees who'll be at the clubs hitting on all those young girls, cuz he's a "sweet man". Then there was the average Joe, like you (hopefully) and me who were thinking the exact same thing - why can't I just have my own personal teller monkey to do my deposits and withdrawals for me?... Oh, you weren't thinking that? Well that makes one of us the smarter one :p.

There was this one dude there with a ras - long ras, only bundled up in a honey comb shape in a bag or something on his head. The thing looked like re-inforced leggins or something. Anyway, not to be prejudice or anything, but he already looks like the kind of guy who got his funds from... I dunno... "moving the herb". Yeah he already looks suspicious enough just standing there and then he tries to do a good deed or something and attempts to re-attach the loose corner of the money specimen fact sheet that was stuck to the wall right next to him. My advice, buddy - you didn't unstick it, just leave it. The last thing you want is a buckshot round in your ass from that trigger happy security guard who's been eying you down for the past 15 mins. I'm sure his excuse could have been that he saw the rasta guy fiddling with the sheet and though he was trying to steal the money specimens, or some crap like that.

Anyway, I stood in line, like everyone else and paid my school fees - $25 that ridiculous school! I'm not complaining that the fees are small, but do you know how much of a waste of my time it is to stand in a friggin' line for 2 hours just to put a measly $25 into an account? It's ludacris!

While in the bank though, I spotted this awesomely sexy African goddess at the ATM. Smooth brown skin, legs, ass, boobs, the works. But prolonged visibility was an issue though - every time I tried to get a good look at her legs, this old biddy would put her stink, grotesque, overflowing crocus bag on the floor to the right of the woman's legs, thus obscuring my view. Then when the chick moves up, my line of sight was conveniently aligned with some Ricky Ricardo wannabe with his little goatee looking like pubic hair on a river otter's nut sack. I ended up looking like a crack head trying to get a good look inside a tinted limousine window - bobbing and weaving like crazy just to catch one last glimpse of her using the ATM. Damn... she's the kind of fine that you just have to sit back and smoke a joint while you think about her.

Moving on. So after the bank ordeal, I went to get my eyes tested. I had a feeling that I was going to need glasses, and I could have predicted the times in which I had to wear them - I was ready for anything, except that damn preliminary eye exam!

Shit! This woman made me sit with my face up against some contraption looking into a green light. She said that I should expect to feel some light puffs of air coming from the machine into my eye. I said ok and expected a gentle intermittent breeze, gliding across the thin layer of natural fluid in my eyes. What I got was The Terminator using a frickin' pneumatic sand blaster on my pupil - those "puffs of air" hurt like hell. With every puff, I felt my eye drying and deforming faster than I could blink. The worst part is that there wasn't any fixed interval before the next blast of air, so it's not like I could mentally prepare myself for it, she just shot me in the eye as soon as I stopped blinking and squirming.

Beats the last time though, that evil man gave me an injection in my eye and told me me not to blink.

So when the tests were over, I went in to see the actual optometrist. She's a VERY charming British lady. I had a mind to ask her if she was involved with anybody... but then I remembered that I was involved with someone, so that couldn't work... Oh well. She's very charming and nice and all that stuff, and she says cute things like "grand" when things are OK. She made me smile alot :)

Long and short of the story - my diagnosis: Apparently I do, in fact have an astigmatism in my right eye, but it isn't not something that came about recently. My eye was always shaped funny, but because I wasn't doing much intense work ( I went QRC, folks - who studies?) my left eye was able to compensate for my right eye's short comings, thus I seemed to see OK. But ever since puberty and the incessant calling of late-night adult entertainment, coupled with my prolonged use of the computer, my left eye said it was too much and couldn't compensate anymore, or at least on such a large scale. SO to make things easier on old lefty, my prescription is for my right eye and I should (not must) wear the glasses when I'm on the computer or studying late at night. It's not so bad, at least my face isn't bound behind them. I'll have to admit, when I hear that my glasses are to fix one eye only, I thought they were going to give me the monocle thing like the Pnaters Man, I got a little scared. As for outdoors, I always had very sensitive eyes, so the nice British lady said that I should wear shades when outside in right light. Look at that eh, I have a prescription to look cool, he he!

Now for the icing on the cake:

I don't want to gloat, but I went for my results of last semester's exams and.... I passed everything!
Now I'm not going to tell you my grades, that'll just kill the fun, but the important thing is that I don't have to repeat any subject! You know how happy I am right now? On Monday 17th December 2007 was the last time I ever saw the world "Aldehyde" or "Ketone" or "periodic", I'll have to work on the "table" part of it. (Maybe I'll just say desk from now on). Anyway, that's the last I'm seeing of Chemistry for a long-ass time! Woo Hoo!!!1! The Mathematics exam probably raped me, but at least it didn't give me Aids, I got a C+ in that. A whole two grades higher than I was expecting. Yeah but that's the only result I'm giving you. Take my word for it, I passed everything else, that's all you need to know XP

My time table seems ok for now, but it has a big "Subject to Ceange" note scribbled at the bottom. I like the new time table. I'm finishing school at 2 nearly every day, only 1 4 o' clock day. Not too shabby, I think.

So yeah, I'm pretty pleased with how today turned out. I need some visual aid, but say what, we get older we get less useful, eh? Part of life, sport. Suck it up!
Post a Comment