This is why I wanted t join the army - to make pretty music with lethal weapons :)
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Sunday, March 16, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Look Who's Back
Well i'm not going to beat around the bush with all the usual pleasantries and apologies as to why I haven't been posting, instead i'll take the vodka apporach and get straight to the point and probably bruise some throats while i'm at it (ok i'm just kidding about the last part).
Anyway today wasn't quite as I expected... as a matter of fact it wasn't as I expected at all. I expected to awake with a "Oh what a glorious day!" kind of attitude and go to sleep with a "fuck this shit" look slapped all over my Junior Sheppard before I pull the cover over me and let the sweet sounds of my inner demons wailing out in my sub conscience lull me to sleep. Instead, it was quite the opposite; and by opposite I mean complete freaking inverse.
I awoke this morning not at six but at three with a God-awful pain in my eye (usual migraine), so I staggered out of bed, drunk with pain and fatigue and slugged my way to my computer desk where I usually keep my stash of pain killers... or at least I thought that was what I did. I took one, forgetting that the tablet worked in a most pleasant, yet inconvenient way, they put you to sleep AND cure the pain. This kind of sleep, however, is not "Lunesta" kind - the pills have as much tranquilizing effect as a horse sedative. I knocked out for seven hours more, awaking (still in a spot of pain) at around 10 - much too late for my Engineering Science class - sat upright in my bed, cursed the clock and looked around at the previously orderly sanctuary that was my bedroom. Remember earlier in the entry I said that I thought that all I did was go to the desk and get the painkillers? Well apparently that was the last stop I made on my way of wanton destruction and mass obliteration. Apparently in my desperate search for relief, I cleared all the items off of my dressing table, ransacked a clothes hamper, tossed a few pillows, pulled off the sheet off of my sister's bed (?) and then went to the desk, where I made enough ruccus to wake my sister, mother, the neighbor, her mother and her dog. You can't blame me though, I was blind with agonizing pain...
So anyway, it was off to school... now this patch of info would have been the same except for a few strange feelings I've been having lately about my fellow school mates. Now by order of the optometrist, I have to wear shades or some other sort of light de-intensifying gear while I'm outside. Now that sounds good enough, but only if I could have gotten some sort of disclaimer to wear on my T-shirt for people to read so that they won't think i'm some sort of arrogant prick wearing "cool shades" and "strutting" all over the place thinking i'm better than everybody else. Sounds cliched, but I feel everybody's eyes piercing my back whenever I walk by... it doesn't help that out school corridors are like a runway of some sort, with spectators on either side too (no, really that's how we lime at school)
Aerial view (the black dots are people, the captions are actual quotes from "liming dialog")
So now you see how the set-up is.
So I have to walk in this passageway, with my shades, with practical strangers on either side. Now I know it's not me being paranoid because whenever I walk by, the crowd gets silent and I see the girls' top lips curling upwards in that "I just smelt something nasty" kind of way. The fact that my eye wear doesn't look clinical doesn't help it either - they actually look like sun glasses that an arrogant "I'm better than you" kind of guy would don.
No matter, I know what they're for and it's just a coincidence that they look hottt ;)
Anyway that's all I have to say about school.
After school was something that i had on my agenda for the past few days - not something somebody would actually put on a an agenda, but it was there anyway and that is to break up with my girlfriend. Now I had a vision of how the whole scene would play out - I would call her outside, bring up the topic, she'd call me an asshole, i'd call her a long streak of piss, i'd go home, she'd go back in her house and do whatever it is the hell she was doing and i'd find my way to the transport terminal and phone the next chicken in line for the relationship slaughterhouse. Instead, things went
North and none of the events that I envisioned took place except for the first two events. The breakup was pretty clean and (in my case) about as painful as a shot from a rubber band - the reality hits you, you flinch a little and then turn around tell the guy that hit you to piss off. I thought it would have been a little gorier than how it went. More cussing and crying, less agreeing and shaking of hands.
But i'm not going to lie to you, my audience, or myself - I am going to miss certain things. Not the big things, but the little things that she never knew I observed and loved and stayed with me and will always throw me into a time vortex; a memory spasm; a light skip down the hall of mirrors of my past: The ring tone of her first cellular phone, the smell of the body cream that she rubs on when she's just had a shower, the look of her hair in the 5 o' clock sun, that look in her eyes when something's wrong or when she's unsure.
That long stretch of polluted roadway that they call Wrightson Rd. will always have the cleanliness of our memories to purify its air... the conversations, the arguments... everything... all of the good and the bad will forever stain that sidewalk, and the setting sun will only make these stains more vivid as it's orange rays skip along them, bringing them back to life with the kiss of nostalgia. Looking down that road as the sun retreats into the sea will never be the same for me again, for my eyes will never see the scenery for what it is, but for what it was and what it represented and what it will never be again.
These are little treasures, more valuable than any work of art or rare stone, that i'll keep in a little mahogany box, carved in an intricate design out of time, love, anger, blood, sweat, tears and everything else that went into that relationship. This box will wear the insignia of my heart and I'll take that box and keep it somewhere in my head, somewhere where it's dark and lonely so that the joy it keeps will illuminate my dark psyche, and I will be sad never more.
I am going to miss certain things, but with my sacrifice comes my freedom, and a different, less fragile, kind of happiness.
I'm surprised I'm not bitter though, I mean usually after watching a year and change of my time and energy go up in smoke, I'd be more than a little perturbed, but i suppose this is an example of what happens when you do everything in God's timing.
Plans for another girlfriend, i'd say they haven't been made yet... but until then I guess I can say a line that hasn't left my lips in quite a long time - "Ladies, he's single ;) " Hmm.. funny, those words meant alot more the last time I said it... :(
So I guess the real question is: what's next for the Deviant? I'm not quite ready fro Facebook to know my business yet, and it's much too late to call anyone, so I guess I can start by taking a shower, saying my prayers and going to bed. The i'm going to get up and do this again tomorrow - this should be interesting...
- One step at a time.
Anyway today wasn't quite as I expected... as a matter of fact it wasn't as I expected at all. I expected to awake with a "Oh what a glorious day!" kind of attitude and go to sleep with a "fuck this shit" look slapped all over my Junior Sheppard before I pull the cover over me and let the sweet sounds of my inner demons wailing out in my sub conscience lull me to sleep. Instead, it was quite the opposite; and by opposite I mean complete freaking inverse.
I awoke this morning not at six but at three with a God-awful pain in my eye (usual migraine), so I staggered out of bed, drunk with pain and fatigue and slugged my way to my computer desk where I usually keep my stash of pain killers... or at least I thought that was what I did. I took one, forgetting that the tablet worked in a most pleasant, yet inconvenient way, they put you to sleep AND cure the pain. This kind of sleep, however, is not "Lunesta" kind - the pills have as much tranquilizing effect as a horse sedative. I knocked out for seven hours more, awaking (still in a spot of pain) at around 10 - much too late for my Engineering Science class - sat upright in my bed, cursed the clock and looked around at the previously orderly sanctuary that was my bedroom. Remember earlier in the entry I said that I thought that all I did was go to the desk and get the painkillers? Well apparently that was the last stop I made on my way of wanton destruction and mass obliteration. Apparently in my desperate search for relief, I cleared all the items off of my dressing table, ransacked a clothes hamper, tossed a few pillows, pulled off the sheet off of my sister's bed (?) and then went to the desk, where I made enough ruccus to wake my sister, mother, the neighbor, her mother and her dog. You can't blame me though, I was blind with agonizing pain...
So anyway, it was off to school... now this patch of info would have been the same except for a few strange feelings I've been having lately about my fellow school mates. Now by order of the optometrist, I have to wear shades or some other sort of light de-intensifying gear while I'm outside. Now that sounds good enough, but only if I could have gotten some sort of disclaimer to wear on my T-shirt for people to read so that they won't think i'm some sort of arrogant prick wearing "cool shades" and "strutting" all over the place thinking i'm better than everybody else. Sounds cliched, but I feel everybody's eyes piercing my back whenever I walk by... it doesn't help that out school corridors are like a runway of some sort, with spectators on either side too (no, really that's how we lime at school)
Aerial view (the black dots are people, the captions are actual quotes from "liming dialog")
So now you see how the set-up is.
So I have to walk in this passageway, with my shades, with practical strangers on either side. Now I know it's not me being paranoid because whenever I walk by, the crowd gets silent and I see the girls' top lips curling upwards in that "I just smelt something nasty" kind of way. The fact that my eye wear doesn't look clinical doesn't help it either - they actually look like sun glasses that an arrogant "I'm better than you" kind of guy would don.
No matter, I know what they're for and it's just a coincidence that they look hottt ;)
Anyway that's all I have to say about school.
After school was something that i had on my agenda for the past few days - not something somebody would actually put on a an agenda, but it was there anyway and that is to break up with my girlfriend. Now I had a vision of how the whole scene would play out - I would call her outside, bring up the topic, she'd call me an asshole, i'd call her a long streak of piss, i'd go home, she'd go back in her house and do whatever it is the hell she was doing and i'd find my way to the transport terminal and phone the next chicken in line for the relationship slaughterhouse. Instead, things went
North and none of the events that I envisioned took place except for the first two events. The breakup was pretty clean and (in my case) about as painful as a shot from a rubber band - the reality hits you, you flinch a little and then turn around tell the guy that hit you to piss off. I thought it would have been a little gorier than how it went. More cussing and crying, less agreeing and shaking of hands.
But i'm not going to lie to you, my audience, or myself - I am going to miss certain things. Not the big things, but the little things that she never knew I observed and loved and stayed with me and will always throw me into a time vortex; a memory spasm; a light skip down the hall of mirrors of my past: The ring tone of her first cellular phone, the smell of the body cream that she rubs on when she's just had a shower, the look of her hair in the 5 o' clock sun, that look in her eyes when something's wrong or when she's unsure.
That long stretch of polluted roadway that they call Wrightson Rd. will always have the cleanliness of our memories to purify its air... the conversations, the arguments... everything... all of the good and the bad will forever stain that sidewalk, and the setting sun will only make these stains more vivid as it's orange rays skip along them, bringing them back to life with the kiss of nostalgia. Looking down that road as the sun retreats into the sea will never be the same for me again, for my eyes will never see the scenery for what it is, but for what it was and what it represented and what it will never be again.
These are little treasures, more valuable than any work of art or rare stone, that i'll keep in a little mahogany box, carved in an intricate design out of time, love, anger, blood, sweat, tears and everything else that went into that relationship. This box will wear the insignia of my heart and I'll take that box and keep it somewhere in my head, somewhere where it's dark and lonely so that the joy it keeps will illuminate my dark psyche, and I will be sad never more.
I am going to miss certain things, but with my sacrifice comes my freedom, and a different, less fragile, kind of happiness.
I'm surprised I'm not bitter though, I mean usually after watching a year and change of my time and energy go up in smoke, I'd be more than a little perturbed, but i suppose this is an example of what happens when you do everything in God's timing.
Plans for another girlfriend, i'd say they haven't been made yet... but until then I guess I can say a line that hasn't left my lips in quite a long time - "Ladies, he's single ;) " Hmm.. funny, those words meant alot more the last time I said it... :(
So I guess the real question is: what's next for the Deviant? I'm not quite ready fro Facebook to know my business yet, and it's much too late to call anyone, so I guess I can start by taking a shower, saying my prayers and going to bed. The i'm going to get up and do this again tomorrow - this should be interesting...
- One step at a time.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
I'm Back (Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, balh)
Hello loyal readers, yes after a long hiatus I am back once again with a new entry. Now I know usually i'd try to do the polite thing and fill you in on all that's been going on in a feeble attempt to make my life look more interesting than it is, but I think we'll skip that this time and move on to better things... Ok i'll just give you a summary: the past few weeks have been nothing but the same old, same old - a clean bill of health and a healthy debt of stress and depression to be paid. Well actually the stress and depression came in smaller doses this time, and the depression was more like a slight drizzle. Yes the "d" in girlfriend does have a purpose after all. Yeah, that's all, really. Riveting isn't it?
Oh and I relaise that my past few entris have been a bit "soft" and "not like Kevin at all" well i've got good news for you. I've adopted a new attitude when it comes to dealing with such issues. it's called "Bother this nonsense" or as the uncensored version of yhatzee's review puts it "Fuck this shit". Now really, do I really need to explain how this new frame of mind works? Come on now, you aren't that slow.
Anyway all i've been doing thus far is procrastinating studies, hanging out with the fellas from school and, oh yeah, working on the movie. No it's not dead and I mean that this time. The guys I got to work with me this time around are REALLY serious! They actually show up for rehearsals on time AND they don't gripe and moan as to when they can leave. If I mess this one up, the only one who'll be at fault here is me.
We just started recording some behind the scenes movies to add to the DVD so that people can see just how ridiculous we look and exactly how much hard work it is to put out into a movie. Either way thing's aren't going EXACTLY as planned, but they're still going. All I have to do now is find a decent balance between this and school and i'm golden.
As for my day yesterday, it wasn't bad at all. My reluctance to go to school to drop off an assignment put me dead center in the path of the fun train, and boy did it run me over good! After rehearsals for the move, we had an impromptu field trip to National Flour Mills. Mind you, I am not part of the Electrical Engineering class, but I found myself in the thick of things anyway. (Hell, a nigga needs something to do on a Friday afternoon). Now to say that the trip wasn't interesting at all would be a half-lie - we did get to have a bath in compressed air, a method that I think should be the new world standard. None of this "getting wet" business like traditional showering; bah! I shake a condescending flipper at you, you glitter of privative life, you soap and water!
So anyway after that we went back to the computer lab to run a game of Soldier of Fortune 2, Double Helix. Long story short, we kicked the arrogance soaked stuffing of pride out of the Electrical Class (ICT rules!!!) They were no match for my USAS automatic shotgun (hoo-hah!!).
Now usually after this we would run a game of basketball followed by some light sparring, but apparently the unusual loss by Electrical in the game of SOF somehow offset the gods of physical activity and their beams of hyperactivity missed the JDTI campus that afternoon. No bother, we always have a plan B
Our alternate activity for the afternoon was to go straight home, but not before making the women of the working class feel excruciatingly uncomfortable with their perfectly shaped breasts and buttoxes. I'll tell you, nothing looks better than a woman in an RBTT, TATIL or Clico uniform on a Friday evening. I don't know where they all come from, or how all of them look so good, but it appears that the algorithm that God used to place them was somehow lopsided as there is usually an office building full of terrifyingly sexy women. What are the odds of that? I felt like I lost a few inches in height as the constant swiveling of my neck ground away the last few ounces of synovial fluid I had cushioning the plates of my spine. No matter, getting shorter only brings me a few inches closer to be at eye level with their boobs, that way, they can't see me looking down at them :D
We also took a walk down the newly named Shit Street - the street where my friend JP saw a pile of actual human feces confidently sitting in the middle of the road some time on Carnival Monday (or Tuesday). We did, in fact, encounter another pile, with some of its members smeared all over the adjacent wall. We had a brief debate as to what kind of depraved a person would commit such an act, but it was cut short as we found that same person posted up in an adjacent crevice, looking rather anxious to commit the act again; this time using my friend JP's long curtain of a T-shirt as the canvas for his next feces masterpiece. In an attempt to prevent such a thing and save ourselves from becoming the dipping palettes, we just walked a little faster, not too fast though - the bright fluttering colours and young smiling faces might arouse him.
So let's take a trip skip down to City Gate where JP had to withdraw some cash. It's the end of the month and the ATMs are screaming with frustration. The lines are long and S'ing. After much searching and disappointment we eventually found one that wasn't so bad, except for the little clepto that tried to put his hand in my friend Jabari's bag. I mean, the evasive action that Jabari took would have been enough if only after the fact he guy didn't stop staring at him with that look in his eye - you know the look I'm talking about... After a minute or two of being subjected to that, I got the feeling that the guy wasn't exactly reaching for Jabari's bag... maybe a little lower, you know what I mean? But i didn't want to traumatize the bugger any more, any more action and I think the guy might have flipped his parity bit.
Pew!
The wait at the maxi terminal was fun. We had some laughs, but all that ended for me when I saw the same woman whose ass I was stalking walked right by me - her perfume, her hair, her everything... mmmmm....... I wish I was a little bit older, y'all...
Anyway, what conspired after that is just too funny and explicit for words. I really wish Mr. Farfan had is camera running.
So after I saw my friends off on a maxi, I proceeded to my platform - I myself had a ride to catch as I was planning on going to church (which starts at 7) and I was at the maxi stop watching ass at 6:15. Shameful, I know.
Anyway, we somehow managed to reach church just in time and the service was a good one indeed. The message was insanely appropriate. I said a little prayer for myself and another person who's too... nothing. I'll leave that description out for now. But yeah, I went to church for myself and that other person that night.
So that's all for me, really. Today we're supposed to have a voice-over session for segments of the movie where a radio transmission is going to come in. I have no idea how i'm going to engineer the synchronicity of the voice over and the actual shot or scene but I guess that's my food for thought for the rest of the week right there.
Oh look forward to seeing a format change sometime soon. I dunno, maybe i'll incorporate video or pictures in the entries and save the pure text format for writer's block style entries.. so... yeah... that's it...bye
Oh and I relaise that my past few entris have been a bit "soft" and "not like Kevin at all" well i've got good news for you. I've adopted a new attitude when it comes to dealing with such issues. it's called "Bother this nonsense" or as the uncensored version of yhatzee's review puts it "Fuck this shit". Now really, do I really need to explain how this new frame of mind works? Come on now, you aren't that slow.
Anyway all i've been doing thus far is procrastinating studies, hanging out with the fellas from school and, oh yeah, working on the movie. No it's not dead and I mean that this time. The guys I got to work with me this time around are REALLY serious! They actually show up for rehearsals on time AND they don't gripe and moan as to when they can leave. If I mess this one up, the only one who'll be at fault here is me.
We just started recording some behind the scenes movies to add to the DVD so that people can see just how ridiculous we look and exactly how much hard work it is to put out into a movie. Either way thing's aren't going EXACTLY as planned, but they're still going. All I have to do now is find a decent balance between this and school and i'm golden.
As for my day yesterday, it wasn't bad at all. My reluctance to go to school to drop off an assignment put me dead center in the path of the fun train, and boy did it run me over good! After rehearsals for the move, we had an impromptu field trip to National Flour Mills. Mind you, I am not part of the Electrical Engineering class, but I found myself in the thick of things anyway. (Hell, a nigga needs something to do on a Friday afternoon). Now to say that the trip wasn't interesting at all would be a half-lie - we did get to have a bath in compressed air, a method that I think should be the new world standard. None of this "getting wet" business like traditional showering; bah! I shake a condescending flipper at you, you glitter of privative life, you soap and water!
So anyway after that we went back to the computer lab to run a game of Soldier of Fortune 2, Double Helix. Long story short, we kicked the arrogance soaked stuffing of pride out of the Electrical Class (ICT rules!!!) They were no match for my USAS automatic shotgun (hoo-hah!!).
Now usually after this we would run a game of basketball followed by some light sparring, but apparently the unusual loss by Electrical in the game of SOF somehow offset the gods of physical activity and their beams of hyperactivity missed the JDTI campus that afternoon. No bother, we always have a plan B
Our alternate activity for the afternoon was to go straight home, but not before making the women of the working class feel excruciatingly uncomfortable with their perfectly shaped breasts and buttoxes. I'll tell you, nothing looks better than a woman in an RBTT, TATIL or Clico uniform on a Friday evening. I don't know where they all come from, or how all of them look so good, but it appears that the algorithm that God used to place them was somehow lopsided as there is usually an office building full of terrifyingly sexy women. What are the odds of that? I felt like I lost a few inches in height as the constant swiveling of my neck ground away the last few ounces of synovial fluid I had cushioning the plates of my spine. No matter, getting shorter only brings me a few inches closer to be at eye level with their boobs, that way, they can't see me looking down at them :D
We also took a walk down the newly named Shit Street - the street where my friend JP saw a pile of actual human feces confidently sitting in the middle of the road some time on Carnival Monday (or Tuesday). We did, in fact, encounter another pile, with some of its members smeared all over the adjacent wall. We had a brief debate as to what kind of depraved a person would commit such an act, but it was cut short as we found that same person posted up in an adjacent crevice, looking rather anxious to commit the act again; this time using my friend JP's long curtain of a T-shirt as the canvas for his next feces masterpiece. In an attempt to prevent such a thing and save ourselves from becoming the dipping palettes, we just walked a little faster, not too fast though - the bright fluttering colours and young smiling faces might arouse him.
So let's take a trip skip down to City Gate where JP had to withdraw some cash. It's the end of the month and the ATMs are screaming with frustration. The lines are long and S'ing. After much searching and disappointment we eventually found one that wasn't so bad, except for the little clepto that tried to put his hand in my friend Jabari's bag. I mean, the evasive action that Jabari took would have been enough if only after the fact he guy didn't stop staring at him with that look in his eye - you know the look I'm talking about... After a minute or two of being subjected to that, I got the feeling that the guy wasn't exactly reaching for Jabari's bag... maybe a little lower, you know what I mean? But i didn't want to traumatize the bugger any more, any more action and I think the guy might have flipped his parity bit.
Pew!
The wait at the maxi terminal was fun. We had some laughs, but all that ended for me when I saw the same woman whose ass I was stalking walked right by me - her perfume, her hair, her everything... mmmmm....... I wish I was a little bit older, y'all...
Anyway, what conspired after that is just too funny and explicit for words. I really wish Mr. Farfan had is camera running.
So after I saw my friends off on a maxi, I proceeded to my platform - I myself had a ride to catch as I was planning on going to church (which starts at 7) and I was at the maxi stop watching ass at 6:15. Shameful, I know.
Anyway, we somehow managed to reach church just in time and the service was a good one indeed. The message was insanely appropriate. I said a little prayer for myself and another person who's too... nothing. I'll leave that description out for now. But yeah, I went to church for myself and that other person that night.
So that's all for me, really. Today we're supposed to have a voice-over session for segments of the movie where a radio transmission is going to come in. I have no idea how i'm going to engineer the synchronicity of the voice over and the actual shot or scene but I guess that's my food for thought for the rest of the week right there.
Oh look forward to seeing a format change sometime soon. I dunno, maybe i'll incorporate video or pictures in the entries and save the pure text format for writer's block style entries.. so... yeah... that's it...bye
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